There are many ways to date these days, from social media to online dating, going down the old-fashioned route of meeting someone in a bar, to being set up by a friend. It makes you wonder why some people find it so difficult to find their ideal match. The problem is, finding your future partner isn’t only about ways to go about it, but the quality of the people you meet.
Love is difficult, and dating is a complicated process!
If you’ve found it hard to meet someone special so far, how about trying dating in the dark?
Dating in the dark covers a range of different dating techniques, including:
Basically, you haven’t met the person before a conversation begins, and usually before the first date happens. You might not have even seen a photo, but this isn’t always the case.
You will probably have seen some TV shows with the dating in the dark theme, and these sometimes take the idea very literally, e.g. dating with a blindfold on. The idea behind this is that we are quite focused on the way someone looks, and when you take away the judgement of someone’s appearance, e.g. they’re too large, they’re too skinny, they’re too bald, they wear glasses, they don’t wear glasses, etc, you focus entirely on their personality and the conversation you’re having.
You could argue that this is the best way to get to know someone.
Could you do it?
Attraction isn’t only about how someone looks, it’s about their sense of humor, their empathy, their beliefs, their opinions, the job they do, and the way they speak to you. You can’t deny; however, a large part of the deal is that you also need to like what you see. We all find different things attractive and alluring, and in order to maintain the physical side of a relationship, you need to have a physical attraction too. Personality alone probably won’t cut the mustard. The idea of dating in the dark, however, is that by the time you meet them, you are so enamored with their personality that you suddenly find them overwhelmingly attractive in person.
It works too.
Let’s explore each dating in the dark method in turn.
Online dating and apps like Tinder are dating the semi-dark, not complete darkness. This is because you’ve seen a photo of the person already, and most people who advertise themselves on online dating and apps who don’t use a photograph, don’t actually have anyone contact them. This is because we are visual creatures. We’ve included this in the dating in the dark category because you haven’t met them, and that means you haven’t got to know their personality yet, one of the two sides of the coin.
Online dating has lost its stigma over the last few years, and that’s a very positive step forward in the dating world. This means that busy people can also find the man or woman of their dreams, without having to dedicate time to going out and actually doing it the old-fashioned way!
The reasons online dating sites are a form of dating in the dark is because of the very same reason we mentioned earlier – you only see a photo of the person and a small blurb about them. You don’t know them in person, you haven’t had a conversation, and you’re basically in the dark about who they really are.
Of course, this can be a danger, because many people advertise themselves as a certain type of person, e.g. late 20s, professional, loves playing tennis, when they’re late 40s and none of the above. Safety must be considered here before you meet them in person especially.
For the most part, however, online dating sites have been proven to be very successful in creating unions between people who would otherwise never have got to meet one another. Apps such as Tinder have done the same to a large degree, but this app, in particular, has gained a reputation as being about little more than hook-ups. If that’s what you’re looking for, that’s fine, but otherwise, perhaps stick to something more meaningful.
Have you ever been on a blind date? They’re great fun to go on, and everyone should at least once in their lives. The reason is that of the anticipation. If you’ve been set up by a friend, it’s likely that you’ve seen a photo, but you might not have. The old ‘I’ll be by the door wearing a red rose’ adage comes into play, and you have a total surprise over what the person looks like, their personality, their sense of humor etc. Your friend might have told you a little about them, e.g. they’re a doctor, or they’re a journalist, and they’re not married, etc, but you know little more than this. You’re effectively in the dark.
Blind dates can be very successful, because a friend knows you well, and knows the type of person who would suit you as a partner. Relying upon them to help you meet people is a great idea. If it doesn’t work out, at least you had a great night out, and a fun experience!
The final option is speed dating. This can take two forms, either you sit at a desk (usually the woman sits) and prospective dates have five or ten minutes to sit and chat to you and make an impression. At the end of the night, you choose someone who grabbed your attention. Another form is that you are literally blindfolded, and as before, this takes away the idea that you make an opinion based on the way they look.
Speed dating is great fun, but in terms of whether it yields results or not, it completely depends on the people who are there! This is a completely random way of meeting other people, but it can also be a very effective way – you never know who might turn up!
Whether you choose to try dating in the dark or not, you can’t deny that it is a fun, and sometimes useful way, to meet new people. Maybe they’ll become just a friend, or maybe they’ll become more.