Dating Someone with ADHD Successfully
ADHD stands for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. This condition can cause an individual to experience increased difficulties with attention, focusing, forgetfulness as well as impulsive behaviors. Therefore, you need to learn how to successfully carry on the relationship when dating someone with ADHD.
So, How Do You Know He or She Has ADHD?
Since it is not written on the face and you’re just getting to know him or her, how do you know the person has ADHD? There are basic symptoms that point to inattentive syndrome. And, those symptoms would also cause him or her not to function properly in social settings and other activities. The symptoms include the following;
- Difficulty in paying attention
- Making careless mistakes and pays little or no attention to details
- Barely pays attention when you’re talking
- Easily sidetracked
- Experiences challenge in terms of organization
- Can’t keep up with task or activity that require sustained focus
- He or she is forgetful
Learn to Offer Support
Let your partner know “we’re in this together”. If you’re dating someone with ADHD, don’t get all worked up because of the situation (it’s obviously a difficult situation). But, learn to handle the condition well, so that you can enjoy the relationship rather than endure it. If you truly care about him or her, learn to be by the person’s side and show selfless support.
This does not mean you shouldn’t have your own life. Of course, you should learn to meet your own emotional needs and help him or see reasons with you, instead of wanting you to be the one playing to his or her side at all times.
Another great support you can give to your date with ADHD is not to take things personal. You should understand that the person is not the one controlling his or her actions (to a great extent). This will help you not to be judgmental about the person’s attitude. Instead, you will be constantly on the lookout for ways to improve your partner’s condition.
Stay in Constant Connection with Each Other
Spending time with your date is very important. So, you should set date nights aside and embark on other fun activities together frequently. Discuss matters that interest both of you. The more time you spend together, the more you learn to understand each other’s needs. Hold hands, hug and get endeared to each other frequently.
Make Eye Contact when You Talk
Making eye contact with your partner when you talk is a great way to get his or her attention and make the person focus on what you’re saying. Also, try to touch the person at the same time to help him or her pay attention and focus on what you have to say.
However, when you make physical contact to help your partner with ADHD focus and pay attention, don’t rub it on them – as though you’re saying “hey, you inattentive dude, I need to touch you and bring your senses back to the moment!” Instead, do it lovingly and tenderly, yet firmly to achieve the intended purpose.
Assist with Organization
If you have made up your mind to be in a relationship with someone who has ADHD, you should also bear in mind that helping them with organization is one of the supports you have to render. In addition, you also need to help your partner with time management.
For instance, instead of nagging him or her for always being late for your appointments, help your partner get more organized. How do you achieve that? For instance, you can talk about an upcoming date outing or appointment frequently. Additionally, make things easier for him or her to remember by getting the person a daily planner that has large space for penning down daily notes.
Be Prepared for Mood Swings
Rapid mood swings are one of the attributes of people with ADHD. As a result, your date may experience rapid mood swings. You should learn what to do in such situations and how to respond to the mood changes. This will help you manage the relationship better.
You should also help your boyfriend or girlfriend with ADHD discover activities that take attention away from the negative mood. Typical examples of such activities include going to see a movie, talking, and exercising.
Find Out How You Can Help
In addition to your own personal research, you should find out from your partner how you can help with his or her ADHD condition. You should work hand in hand to better manage the side effects and negativities of the condition. So, politely and lovingly find out from him or her what you can do to improve the condition.
Here’s an instance; Debra said she calls herself to order and would constantly ask Williams (her boyfriend with ADHD), “I tend to be selfish sometimes, not patient enough with your condition. But please, let me know how I can make things easier for you and our relationship.”
Seek Additional Help
For instance, consider seeking couples counseling when you’re in a relationship with an ADHD. Convince your partner to go for therapy and assure him or her that you will go with her any time there’s an appointment. Going together and seeking counsel from an expert can help make your relationship better.
It may also help both of you to sincerely express your concerns in the presence of a trusted or professional third party. You would also get to learn better ways of handling the situation with the tips that the professional would provide in the course of the appointment. However, if you’re partner is not comfortable with seeing a therapist or counselor, try not to force the person. Also, you should consider being part of a support group, to help you learn from others how they manage a relationship with someone who has ADHD.
Looking to start a relationship sooner? There are tons of ways people are discovering and finding their dates. You should try safe online dating and attend social events.