Dating Someone with Kids – How to Do It Successfully
You’ve probably fallen in love with someone, then you realize sooner that he or she already has kids from a previous relationship. You don’t have to despair, although it’s a challenging situation. The good news is, you can date someone with kids successfully. Keep reading to learn how.
First, you should bear in mind that the kid (s) would always come first in the relationship. Once you put this in mind and learn how to manage the situation, you will be smiling all the way in your new relationship.
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When it comes to dating someone with kids, it’s necessary to start off right. How do you do that? First, you need to consider some realities. One of such realities is to ask yourself if you’re willing to commit to such relationship. In essence, you have to consider the kid or kids in the picture.
The truth is, it can be quite challenging and demanding dating a man or a woman with kids. So, do some honest soul-searching and considerations before committing to the relationship.
Now, here are some points to help you in your consideration;
- A parent will always put the kids first, especially if the kids are young. For instance, plans and dates can be altered last minute if there’s a need in the kid’s life that must be met urgently. So, you would have to put up with such urgencies, so as not to appear inconsiderate towards the kid.
- Also, if a potential partner has a kid or kids, bear in mind that his or her ex may still be in the picture because of the kids. The previous partner may have to call frequently to check on the kids and speak with the ex for an extended time regarding the welfare of the kid. Can you take this situation without tension as to whether it is just the children’s welfare they are talking about or there may be underlying romantic affair still going on between the two?
- Additionally, when considering dating someone with kids, don’t forget that things may be slower, especially at the onset, since people with kids tend to proceed in a new relationship with caution. So, are you willing to give room and time to the single parent until full adjustment is made?
In fact, you should find out from your partner what the set boundaries are in regards to the kids. It is important you do this before committing to the relationship. For a single parent, initiating such conversation can be quite difficult. So, do the person the favor of asking upfront in a polite manner, the expectations and boundaries in regards to her kids or his kids.
Here are some helpful points in this case:-
- The boundaries and expectations need not be complex. For instance, you should find out the amount of time that is ideal for your single parent partner to devote to the kids. Here’s an example; your partner may indicate that going out on date has to be minimal, so that he or she can devote more time to the kids. You should manage such boundaries well and show reasonable understanding.
- Also, when it comes to meeting the kids, your partner may also not be direct with it. This is in terms of when and how. Try not to push things, but show understanding that you are willing to wait until when he or she is ready to introduce the kids to you.
Have an Optimistic Outlook
When you decide to date a single parent, it is important to be positive and optimistic in your outlook. In essence, you should not consider the relationship as an extra luggage or burden, which is why you should be sure you want to go into such relationship from the onset. Focus on the positive attributes of your partner and the relationship, which will help you maintain a positive outlook.
While there would be challenges such as not being able to have as much private time together, focusing on the positives will help you value the time you have to be together. It will also help you to respect and cherish your partner and, you will constantly be on the lookout for ways to maximize the time you have to be together.
Also, start thinking of kids-friendly activities that you can introduce when eventually you have to go out together – your single parent partner and the kids. Typical examples include trips to amusement parks and fairs, including kids-friendly indoor games. Going the extra-mile to make your single parent partner and the kids happy will help make the relationship a thing to enjoy rather than something to endure.
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Be Supportive and Kind
Make up your mind from the onset to be more than just a partner. You should also be a supportive and kind role model when dating someone with kids. Even if you haven’t been around kids before, you can ask your friends who have kids, and also find some useful tips online.
It’s also important that you wear your best behavior when you are with your partner’s kids. Practice good manners that make children happy. Give a listening ear to the kids and correct them in love, as though they are your own children.
The child or children would also learn good manners from you when you exhibit such manners to them or their parent.
When the ball is set and things are now moving as expected, you should consider taking the relationship with the single parent to another level. Find out how your partner will react to this and handle the situation wisely.
Different Ways People are Meeting their Partners
Do you seek to meet your significant other? It will excite you to know there are different ways people are meeting their partners nowadays. The top ways include online, at work, through family and friends (referral), at events (e.g. wedding, sports, and religious gatherings), with dating apps, and at school.
Stay Safe When Dating Online
Finally, endeavor to stay safe when seeking to date someone with kids or just anyone. Don’t be quick to give out your contacts or reveal sensitive things about yourself. And, when you arrange to meet, let it be in a public place.