Depending upon your outlook, dating can be either fun or completely nerve-wracking. You put yourself out there for approval or rejection, and you wait with bated breath to see which way it’s going to go. That can either be thrilling to you, or it can make you want to pull each tooth out individually with your bare hands.
When you are in your 20s, it’s all about meeting new people, having conversations, seeing if there is a connection, having fun, and not thinking too much about the future. There is no pressure. When you reach your 30s however, it’s as though someone has placed a weight on your shoulders.
Depending upon your outlook, dating can be either fun or completely nerve-wracking. You put yourself out there for approval or rejection, and you wait with bated breath to see which way it’s going to go. That can either be thrilling to you, or it can make you want to pull each tooth out individually with your bare hands.
When you are in your 20s, it’s all about meeting new people, having conversations, seeing if there is a connection, having fun, and not thinking too much about the future. There is no pressure. When you reach your 30s however, it’s as though someone has placed a weight on your shoulders.
Are we right to feel this way? Should there be this social pressure to be settled down or at least ‘sorted’ by the time you hit 30? Of course not, but we all feel it to some degree.
Dating in your 30s is different from dating in your 20s in many ways. Firstly, you are more mature, and you know what you don’t want. You might not have the first idea what you do want, but you certainly know the things you don’t want to feature in your relationship.
We should point out that it is completely fine to be single in your 30s, and we are in no way suggesting that pressure should be heavy on your shoulders if you’re not coupled up by the time the clock strikes midnight on your 30th birthday. These days, men and women are leaving it longer than ever before to form long-term relationships, get married and start families. Many men and women choose to avoid those choices altogether and live in a more independent, modern way. Both options are fine and completely acceptable.
To highlight the differences between dating in your 30s, versus the carefree dating experience in your 20s, let’s explore the subject a little more deeply.
Key Aspects of Dating in Your 30s
Maturity
You’re still young in your 30s, so you certainly don’t know it all, but you’re more mature than the previous decade. This means that you’re much less likely to fall for an attractive smile and a chat up line, and you’re more likely to question motives. Not every guy or girl you come across is going to have the same dating intentions as you, but when you’re in your 30s, you can spot a player a lot easier than you can in your 20s.
You Know Yourself Better
By the time you reach your 30s, you know who you are much better than you did before. This means you know what you’re worth and you know what you don’t deserve in a relationship. Men and women in their 30s won’t put up with as much relationship-based rubbish, purely because they know who they are. That’s not to say that there won’t be the odd time when you experience heartbreak, because that can happen at any age, but it’s less likely.
More Chance of Commitment
If you want a commitment, there is more chance of that occurring in your 30s, compared to in your 20s. Many people in their 20s don’t want to settle down, and they’re purely looking for fun. That’s fine if both parties want the same thing, but if you are searching for someone to settle down with and have a solid relationship, it’s best to wait until maturity and self-knowledge set in, in your 30s.
Social, Family, & Cultural Pressures
We’ve talked so far about the good sides of dating in your 30s, but there is one particular downside – pressure. This isn’t the same for everyone, but in some cases, social, family, cultural pressures can make life hard. Certain cultures dictate that men and women should be married by a certain age, and even society, in general, takes a rather side-ways glance if you choose to remain by yourself. Perhaps your family keeps asking when you’re going to settle down. Whatever the situation, it can put pressure on you to do what they want, and not what you ultimately want. Always stick to your guns and listen to your heart – such pressure should be ignored.
Don’t Waste My Time – Are we Doing This or Not?
In your 30s, you’re less likely to put up with a time waster. If you want to walk out of my life – go for it. That’s the line you’re likely to think or say. Hitting 30 gives you a true sense of confidence and ability to know that if something isn’t right for you, that’s fine, it can leave and make room for something or someone who is right.
It’s possible that in your 20s you would have held on tightly to someone who wasn’t right for you, probably out of fear that you wouldn’t meet anyone else, or because you felt so strongly for them. In your 30s, that’s less likely to be the case because time wasters can’t be tolerated.
Is Dating in Your 30s Easier or Harder?
We’ve explored the differences, but we need to answer one very relevant question – is dating in your 30s easier or harder than in your 20s?
It’s fair to say that you could argue both sides of the coin. In some ways, it is easier, because you know who you are and you won’t suffer fools gladly, or you are less likely to do so. On the other hand, it can be harder because the pool of available men or women is less, and those who are available often have past baggage to deal with, e.g. divorces or children from previous relationships. If you are happy to deal with that baggage (because you may have some of your own), then this could be a non-issue for you.
At the end of the day, whether you’re 20, 30, 40, or 50, matters of the heart are never easy to deal with!
